Other children’s mums sleep late on school days. Not me. I am awake at the crack of sparrows fart.
Other children’s mums are in bed while their little ones get their own breakfast cereal, pack their bags, gather their belongings, brush their teeth. Not me. I am always diligent. Ohhh, yeah.
Other children’s mums wake up late, shower late, and drive their kids to school wearing track pants, a t shirt with no bra, slippers and sport wet hair and no make up. Not me. I look like model material everyday. Oh yes, and I am *always* perfectly dressed. Immaculate, that’s me.**
Today, I turned into one of those other children’s mums.
I am sure this happened because I took 4 nurofen in the middle of the night to ease my back pain.
So how come:
Other children’s mums do not get stopped for a breathalyser on the way home, on a 4 lane main road just a few streets from home?
How come other children’s mums remember to carry their wallet that contains their drivers licence and ID?
How come other children’s mums do not have to explain to the nice policeman that they cannot get out of the car because they are in purple fluffy slippers, a white tee-shirt with no bra underneath, and baggy track pants?
How come other children’s mums do not feel guilty and stress over the breathalyser in case it reads positive even though the closest they have been to alcohol is the wine in last nights risotto?
How come other children’s mums don’t get so nervous with all this that they cannot look the nice policeman in the eye, begin to sweat and shake and experience heart palpitations, therefore looking like they are guilty of some heinous crime and have a wanted felon hiding in their boot?
How come other children’s mums do not have to endure one of those sweet police people being the father of one of the children she teaches in her class each week, and hope like hell he does not recognise her!!!?
Being an other child’s mum sucks.
** I am allowed to be perfect. Just for this post. All snorting can stop now, thanks.