Owners Manual for 11 Year Old Boys

Eleven year old boys are no longer infants, not yet men.

Eleven year old boys have rooms that smell like wet sand shoes, or old washing, or wet cat fur.

Eleven year old boys no longer care that ‘stuff’ is all over the floor in their room.

Eleven year olds will leave school lunches in their bags for weeks unless you check the bag yourself. Asking “Where is your lunch box – and what is that smell?” will not produce the desired result.

Eleven year old boys begin their first sentence of their day “You know how they say there is no such thing as a V6 turbo diesel…” Instead of  “Good Morning, Mum, How did you sleep?”

Eleven year old boys have questions that only their Dad can answer.

Eleven year old boys seem to grow a centimetre a day and have developed the skills required to inhale the contents of the refrigerator in one meal.

Eleven year old boys need constant nagging to brush hair, teeth and actually use shampoo.

Eleven year old boys will not choose which new jocks to buy whilst (somebody else’s) mother and 3 girls are in the same aisle at Big W.

Eleven year old boys are old enough to cook meals and can do so with a basic cook book and sidelined supervision.

Eleven year old boys secretly do care that this will make them a good husband, someday. (It will also set you in good steed with future daughter in law, but we won’t go there)

Eleven year old boys will still want cuddles, to hold your hand, sometimes cry and need their mothers, at a time that suits them, not the mother.

Eleven year olds still kiss goodnight.

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.

Robert Munsch  


19 responses

  1. Omg! That sounds like a carbon copy of my 13 year old……only at 13, it amplifies! He eats more, grumps more, argues more and no longer likes you walking in on him when he’s in the shower. And atm he has taken up spitting which sends me into a screaming mother frenzy cause I just hate it! Arrrrghhhh!

    So don’t worry, there’s more to come!!!

  2. Oh god, do they still leave their lunchboxes in their schoolbags to rot? My 8yo does that now, I thought maybe it was just a phase. PL starts his day with “…did you know that on Level 4 of [insert name of electronic game] such and such does blah blah blah”.

    Luckily, he too, still wants cuddles.

  3. Yes to all of the above, and mine’s almost 19. There are more good things now, too, like when he asks me if I’ll cut his hair. And he makes special CDs of music he thinks I’ll like/need to know and then plays it in the car when we have to go anywhere together. And still lots of cuddles. Sons are gorgeous.

  4. So funny. And sweet. And true. They’ll always be our babies. As for future wives, girlfriends, etc, I’m drawing up a disclaimer concerning gas emissions, belching and the like. I tried. Really hard. If I failed, blame testosterone; or the media; or society; just not me! Because I tried. Really hard. I will take a bow for the sweet stuff though……

  5. I am picturing your 11 year old! I know nothing about pre-adolescent boys (and that will never change), but I’m looking forward to hearing all about it from you!

  6. Oh, my good golly. Wait until his feet begin to grow. Once I took Dylan to get shoes, and his feet had grown two full sizes. He outgrew shoes at an astounding rate for two years, and then was done. The boy is skinny as a rail, and not really all that tall, but dear heavens, has he got some feet.

    Oh. And the eating thing? Expect that to go on awhile. Dylan is 22 now. When he comes home, he still eats. A lot.

  7. When I was 11, I had a lot of wrestling figures thrown in the bin by my Mum because I was too old for them…

    Not even meeting girls was such a confusing and bewildering change in my maturity levels…

  8. Fourteen year old boys are much the same, except they swear a lot when they are with their friends and they think you are not listening.

    PS I think the need to wash and groom becomes an priority when girls become involved. (Frankly even 40yo men might choose to ignore those issues without a partner…)

  9. A lovely post, thankyou for sharing. Some of the things about boys you have mentioned are also applicable for 11 year old girls. Such as lunch boxes in bags…stuff all over the floor….aaargh! And still wanting cuddles…yay :)

  10. I’m reading the comments and discovering what I can anticipate for future behaviour for K and N.

    Loved the R. Munsch reference. I always cry when I read “I will love you forever”. It is such a beautiful book! It’s interesting to see how Canadian authors are referred to on Aussie blogs (ie: Peppermint Patcher has an Atwood quote on her blog page!).

  11. 12 is like 11, but as brissiemum says, amplified.

    And as for losing things… Yesterday he lost something almost before he’d been given it.

    Mine isn’t so slushy as at the end of the piece though, doesn’t do sweet ( although he is really)

  12. Boys are just different. Beautiful, exasperating, brilliant, annoying, amazing and weird. I love mine too. Even when his lunch box becomes a science project gone wrong.

  13. lol there are some sames and some differents to the 9 year old girl we have here.

    She is still on the “what if” insert implausible here – and when its rejected its all “yeah, but what if?”

    It drives me insane.

  14. I haven´t got any boys, but my girls love ‘Love you forever’ as well, as it means cuddles, even though my 6 year old is too old for cuddles…….

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